Earlier this afternoon, I read on an online news the last letter of a teen actress who recently committed suicide. I'll hide the names in respect. I don't often talk about things like this in public, so instead of that, I want to share a conversation about this topic.
B: Siguro nga. (Maybe.) Pero wala nang magagawa, tapos na. (But there's nothing left to do. It is done.)
I ended sharing this conversation on that last line on purpose. "There is nothing left to do. It is done." It is a post of a reminder that there are some people that can be helped, and that there may also be times that we can help to the best of our abilities and fail. This is not our fault. Those that have been left behind shouldn't find blame. Blame only exists to further your anger, to build your disappointment, to feed your frustrations. Remove blame for the loved ones that you lost. If you love that person, believe that they would not want their deaths to leave this impression. They wanted their thoughts to be noticed, they wanted to be understood.
Understand that what has happened cannot be undone, but what could happen in your future could still be. So grieve. Grieve for your loss, and let your tears fall. Along with it shed the fears that your loved one once held, the frustrations they once had, the loneliness that they failed to survive. With their passing, let these things pass too. If that person chose what they did to release themselves from all of that, then you should choose to live on and prove that you can live without carrying all of these heavy burdens on your shoulders.
A: Did you see the news about that girl that committed suicide?
B: Yes, didn't she hang herself? Sayang (What a waste) she was too young.
A: Oo nga, 15 lang. (Yes, just 15 years old.)
B: She wrote last letters to some people.
A: I read it, inevitable.
B: Why inevitable?
A: Bata e. (She was young.) How many children do you think commit suicide without wanting to be noticed?
B: I've only known adults that tried to kill themselves. Not one left a note. She could have had other reasons.
A: Exactly. Adults that commit suicide probably have a lot going on in their heads. Even in death they consider things. One, that they should just rid of themselves because they can no longer handle the emotional baggage that the world has given them; two, it is the answer to their problems. They might leave a note if death was the solution to the problems.
B: Don't you think the girl's death was what she thought was the solution to her problem? I'm sure there are a lot of people who had left notes before they rid of themselves. Not just the young ones. I also bet there are children who don't leave notes.
A: But she did leave a note, why do you think that is? It's so that her thoughts would be noticed.
B: Probably. How do you get to a point that you would do something like that just to get people to notice your thoughts?
A: Maybe she lacked understanding, not attention.
B: It's not easy to find the understanding that you need in things that matter to you. Sometimes even from people that are close to you.
A: She was young, she had weight on her shoulders. I'm sure other people tried to understand her. On matters like this, they need consistency.
B: Consistency is always the key.
A: But you won't always get that unless at least one person is extremely focused on you. Hmm...Sayang talaga. Hindi kaya kahit madami siyang puwedeng pagkaabalahan ng oras, (It's really a waste. Don't you think even though she had plenty of things to spend her time on) she was still looking for a purpose to live?B: Siguro nga. (Maybe.) Pero wala nang magagawa, tapos na. (But there's nothing left to do. It is done.)
I ended sharing this conversation on that last line on purpose. "There is nothing left to do. It is done." It is a post of a reminder that there are some people that can be helped, and that there may also be times that we can help to the best of our abilities and fail. This is not our fault. Those that have been left behind shouldn't find blame. Blame only exists to further your anger, to build your disappointment, to feed your frustrations. Remove blame for the loved ones that you lost. If you love that person, believe that they would not want their deaths to leave this impression. They wanted their thoughts to be noticed, they wanted to be understood.
Understand that what has happened cannot be undone, but what could happen in your future could still be. So grieve. Grieve for your loss, and let your tears fall. Along with it shed the fears that your loved one once held, the frustrations they once had, the loneliness that they failed to survive. With their passing, let these things pass too. If that person chose what they did to release themselves from all of that, then you should choose to live on and prove that you can live without carrying all of these heavy burdens on your shoulders.
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