I am addicted to procrastinating. I know this because even the idea of peeing or standing up is followed by "I'll do it later;" and that's because I can't be bothered by that thought when I've already been sitting for more than 30 minutes. I rarely accomplish anything significant; and when I do, it most probably had been sitting for weeks if not months just by my side before it got started. It is not laziness, because laziness is accompanied by "I don't want to." I know I want to finish everything because these are all cluttered in my head bothering me, just waiting to be released. I just can't find the energy to do it now.
These words that I wrote have been in my mind for more than a few weeks. I even made a research on procrastination, dementia, and Alzheimer's to see what has been going on that it caused me to find it incredibly difficult to remember little things. These symptoms/effects needed understanding.
Before reading any articles, I took a moment to think of theories that are parallel with the mood swings and forgetfulness. I'm writing these ideas for logic. I may be forgetful and may not be able to accomplish tasks well at present, but I was the exact opposite a while back. I need a reasonable explanation as to why the mere thought of getting water vanishes from my mind while I am walking to the water container 20 steps away from my seat. Only a few people take these "symptoms" seriously. I didn't; not until I realized it had been going on for a long time. I don't think this should be happening at my age. The articles that I've read didn't even have reasons just explanations on what's happening when it already is.
1. The lack of sleep.
Sleeping is a chore. It's one of those things that's really hard to do when there are other things that are far more interesting. This makes sense for me to forget things or to be out of it. Who doesn't lack details in thinking when you don't get enough sleep?
2. Hormones.
One of the reasons that make sense to extreme mood swings is hormones. This is something I never had the ability to control especially when it's that time for the monthly visit.
These two were the theories that made the most sense to the mood swings, the forgetfulness and the inability to do it now; but there are other things going on that're far more inexcusable by these two. I was either really calm - almost robotic, or anxious (angry, sad, irritated.) I needed to know why.
"I'LL DO IT LATER."
This was when I decided to look into my surroundings and all the other variables around me. What I saw was 1. clutter. Clutter of bags and what used to be clean clothes that are now dusty because I said I would put them inside the cabinet "later." Clutter on top of the printer because I would put the pens or the paper inside the drawer "later." Dust. Dust everywhere because I will close that tiny gap in the window or wipe the surfaces "later." 2. Cleanliness no longer became priority.
They are still there after I saw them. I'm used to them being there by now, I didn't even notice, nor do I know how long they had been there. Someone please either threaten me or pay me a huge amount that I may have the incentive to fix all of these. Dry hair, because I would condition later - tomorrow - when I feel like it. Even 3. additional grooming took a toll. What was the point if I would just be inside the house for weeks anyway? Thank goodness bathing was still a routine. 4. Weight increase and decrease; because I'll stop eating chips "later," and when that stops happening I'll just eat food in itself "later."
There are so much more details that a 5,000 word article wouldn't even suffice. An addiction to procrastination is a real thing. It becomes real when it starts being a routine. Priorities are on a thin line unless given much incentive or even threatened to accomplish. Don't let yourself get to this point. It becomes a battle that's difficult to fight. One of those little evils that you are letting into your life without even noticing. The little things cause 5. stress and a step back in everyday life, and you wouldn't even know why unless you take time to see what has been happening. Making a list rarely helps.
The first step to recovery is realizing that the next time you want to say "later," do it NOW. Force yourself with the little things you CAN do NOW, and it'll grow into bigger things soon enough. I've started getting better at not forgetting tasks like a normal person my age should. Hopefully I don't stop and continue later when it's too late.
2. Hormones.
One of the reasons that make sense to extreme mood swings is hormones. This is something I never had the ability to control especially when it's that time for the monthly visit.
These two were the theories that made the most sense to the mood swings, the forgetfulness and the inability to do it now; but there are other things going on that're far more inexcusable by these two. I was either really calm - almost robotic, or anxious (angry, sad, irritated.) I needed to know why.
"I'LL DO IT LATER."
This was when I decided to look into my surroundings and all the other variables around me. What I saw was 1. clutter. Clutter of bags and what used to be clean clothes that are now dusty because I said I would put them inside the cabinet "later." Clutter on top of the printer because I would put the pens or the paper inside the drawer "later." Dust. Dust everywhere because I will close that tiny gap in the window or wipe the surfaces "later." 2. Cleanliness no longer became priority.
They are still there after I saw them. I'm used to them being there by now, I didn't even notice, nor do I know how long they had been there. Someone please either threaten me or pay me a huge amount that I may have the incentive to fix all of these. Dry hair, because I would condition later - tomorrow - when I feel like it. Even 3. additional grooming took a toll. What was the point if I would just be inside the house for weeks anyway? Thank goodness bathing was still a routine. 4. Weight increase and decrease; because I'll stop eating chips "later," and when that stops happening I'll just eat food in itself "later."
There are so much more details that a 5,000 word article wouldn't even suffice. An addiction to procrastination is a real thing. It becomes real when it starts being a routine. Priorities are on a thin line unless given much incentive or even threatened to accomplish. Don't let yourself get to this point. It becomes a battle that's difficult to fight. One of those little evils that you are letting into your life without even noticing. The little things cause 5. stress and a step back in everyday life, and you wouldn't even know why unless you take time to see what has been happening. Making a list rarely helps.
The first step to recovery is realizing that the next time you want to say "later," do it NOW. Force yourself with the little things you CAN do NOW, and it'll grow into bigger things soon enough. I've started getting better at not forgetting tasks like a normal person my age should. Hopefully I don't stop and continue later when it's too late.
No comments:
Post a Comment